Chapter 3: Realization

Passing the city of Stockholm on a train is just stunning and breath taking. I genuinely am growing and beginning to have a heart for this city. The culture is so interesting to take part of.

At the same time though I have grown to have such an appreciation for America. What nation is like America? There is not one. There is no true "American". We are all immigrants whose ancestors came millions of miles across the world hoping that one day they could create a better world for themselves and they did just that. We are far from a perfect country but there is no other country more diverse or as influential as we are. One nation under God. I don't think our founding fathers had any clue how far we would come or how strong we would grow. The land of the free and the home of the brave is truly what we are in every meaning of the words free and brave.

There is no nationality or ethnicity that depicts who is an American. There are no traditions or culture that make you an American. We as a people created America. We are still creating America. There are no boundaries or limitations. Italian, African American, Latino, German, Irish, Native American or like me a complete mixed breed... we are all American. I don't know if we truly understand and cherish that while living in America. I don't fully know if we understand or cherish anything that we have. I am just now realizing how unique we are, living half way across the world. But the thing is that we would be nothing without Sweden or Mexico or China or any other country because America is made up of the world. I love that!

Chapter 2: The Plane Ride

I'm on my first flight and as I am sitting here, I am examining everyone on the plane. Wondering where their destination might be... to visit family, business, home? My destination is my destiny. This plane is literally chasing my dreams. Every moment of turbulence, every take off, each landing and even when the plane is flying smoothly, it is all somewhat symbolic to  my literal journey of going after my call and purpose. Sitting on this plane, I don't know what exactly is in front of me. I can look out of the windows and see my present view, but I cannot see the future. I am putting my faith in the pilot to take me to my destination safely. Just as I am trusting God to take me through this journey semi blindfolded and God is far greater than any pilot. 

Chapter 1: The Week Leading Up

So it's Sunday night, August 12th and I am sitting here listening to Fill Me Up by Jesus Culture. Part of the lyrics are:

You provide the fire and I'll provide the sacrifice.
You provide the spirit and I will open up inside.
Fill me up God. Fill me up God. Fill me up God.
Fill me up.

God has provided a fire for us as believers, which is the burning passion to reach the lost. My sacrifice is giving my life to Him to become a missionary to witness to the unsaved regions of the world and I am literally laughing with tears in my eyes because in the end, it's really no sacrifice at all. I get to serve a loving, just, merciful God and I get to distribute those traits to nonbelievers as my CAREER. I am blessed to be able to be stripped away from the ways of this world and follow God to the ends of the earth, preaching the gospel and reaching the lost. I'm sorry if this comes off repetitive but I just can't seem to wrap my mind around it. I'm astonished. 

God has sent the spirit and to open up inside is for me to give up the ways of the world... to give up sorrow, depression, low self esteem, peer pressure, doubt, criticism, judgment and to have the God of the universe on my side fighting every single battle, overcoming every torment and loving me unconditionally.

I am asking God to fill me up, so at times I am going to be emptied in order to be filled up again, and right now I must say I am being emptied to the core. I tend to feel low at these moments but I am so full of joy because I am realizing the God of all the heavens is investing His time into me to shape me, grow me and challenge me to be better because He has CHOSEN me to do a great work THROUGH Him and I just couldn't be more ecstatic and I don't know if it will ever fully set in. 

Here is the link to the song I am referring to. I encourage you to take a moment to listen to it and just pray that God would fill you up to the depths of your being. 

God bless!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmJUjUbonxY

Prologue.

I will be moving in exactly 11 days to Stockholm, Sweden where I will be attending Mission SOS Bible College to become a missionary. I have dreamed of this day since the age of 13 and it is finally coming to life.

When I thought about what exactly I wanted to be as a child, I thought to myself, what would please God the most because if I can be what God has destined me to be and to divinely do, I will always be completely at peace with myself and with Him. That is when I knew this was going to be my calling. God CHOSE me for this. He created me to reach the unreached around the world! It takes me back every time I say it because how could I be so blessed to give my life to a God that gave His one and only son for me.

Mother Teresa once said, "If you want the message to be heard, it has got to be sent out. To keep a light burning, we have to keep putting oil in it." If I want to be heard and if I want to CHANGE THE WORLD, I have got to send that message out. Whether it be through smuggling Bibles into China, running barefoot in the jungles of Africa, or in the mean time, me pouring out my heart onto a blog... I will be heard! I will continuously put the oils of my heart into this lamp to keep the light burning. I will shake history.